Inside my head

I was reading on an article regarding child marriages by Silas, he condemned the practice as Muhammad SAW had married and consummated his marriage with her when she was 9. The problem was that he twisted Aishah's petty fights and depicted her as a psychologically misshapen girl. At least in most circumstances he forgets that Victorian times actually allow such things to happen and not only that studies by Ariel indicate that abuse was prominent for children as young as 5 where they are convicted of crimes because of the neglect that has been done towards poverty. He forgets that being rebellious is part of Aishah's nature, which in today's Western standards is healthy enough to advocate feminism. Child marriages are prevalent today however in such cases the girls have entered menarche and not only that have grown phsyically mature. One documented case is in Britain where a girl has committed a sexual act and has not even entered menarche but was able to give birth to a child with her also young boyfriend. It must be said however, that as practice women are allowed to choose her marriage. If the woman refuses then the act of marriage is dissolved before entering upon a marriage contract. It has need to be said that Aishah herself was a very highly intelligent woman who wrote poetry and had an extensive memory covering the hadiths of Muhammad saw. What Silas refuses to believe is that backbiting amongst women is more common than he thinks, regardless of whether they are married early or not, these are not signs of psychological damage. It could be psychological damage if a person expresses complete manic depression. In most cases Aishah does not display this, it is common for women to be jealous even stronger than what Aishah is depicting. It is human nature for women to be jealous or envious of another woman who has a relationship with their partner. At least this is more well documented in Aishah's case. Isn't it that because of the inability to live longer that people consummate marriages earlier? Many English traditions even mention this as being common and not irregular as life spans end even as early as those in their twenties . The whole process of human beings is the ability to procreate in order to pass their genes, in the case of humans the young is more helpless than most mammals. For a life span so short it does make sense to consummate marriage earlier. Intellectual and sexual maturity does exist for many women in Asia even as young as nine. As the case of the Thai lady in the rural areas who gave birth at the age of 9. The problem of giving birth does not actually JUST extends to young age. In most cases even in Somalia where perinatal incisions are not available, giving birth is a very dangerous action even if the girl has reached sexual and physical maturity. The whole action of giving birth is dangerous in every age. And not only that new studies show that women who have children later than 25 are more likely to produce children with Down's syndrome, as opposed to women who give birth to children earlier who produce many children with highly intellectual capabilities. At the ages of 30 or above heart problems, caesarean problems, diabetes mellitus are just some of the underlying problems that some women face. If you want to go all the way you might just as well add to the fact that women shouldn't procreate at all as many problems arise after giving birth. But this shouldn't be the problem because Islamic societies actually allow abortion and contraception, unlike some sects of the Christian faiths. If for reasons of medical purposes then contraception is always available. Are we going to persecute her husband? The girl of 9? or the British girl who has a baby at 8? her boyfriend? Children themselves are sexual beings they also feel sexually aroused. But we're riding out here, Aishah was sanctioned against the borders of marriage and she has reached menarche. Many paedophiliacs who in short are mostly Westerners desire to have sexual relations with young children who have not even a single hint of physical sexual maturity. Many accounts have to be taken into consideration as to why the act of consummation was established by the prophet. What is sickeningly tiring is why do Westerners have to judge our girls by THEIR standards. If some of the girls themselves want to be within Western standards then that is their own choice. Like the hijab is a problem for Westerners, they call us oppressed and stupid, he must've not stopped and looked at the girls in Girls gone Wild and MTV's series where cliches run rampant. At least most Islamic girls are raised to be highly intellectual and critical and avoid pitfalls of materialism. Why should a person pay for a 16k bag? Western lust and desire for women to feel desired. The drive to constantly be beautiful and daft at thesame time. The thing is many Western men don't stop and think that they would want a highly independent and highly intelligent woman. They prefer their ladies as daft as themselves who only to ogle at their breasts and their shallow perceptions. Many child marriages are prevalent even in Africa, they are not Muslims are we to judge them by our standards? We can't just rampage into Africa and telling them to go to hell with their customs. This is actually a problem for the aborigines of Australia, the government is urging them to stop child marriages as they also allow consummation of marriage as young as nine as long as they have reached menarche. Many leaders of the aborigines feel that this is tampering with their social order and their way of life and many have commented that this has been their way of life for thousands of years. How are the Australian government going to handle this? By jailing the fathers or mothers of daughters who are married early? These problems are still prevalent today, maybe Silas should watch Sex and the City in an episode of the Jewish girl who gave away blowjobs even before she was twelve. And that was New York.

Posted by Lee at 3:46 am | Permalink | Comments

This is more of a very indulgent posting. I love bags and shoes. I am also in love with good looking men. God knows Matthew McConaughey should be loved. I think I fell in love with him when I watched him in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. He's so beautiful!!! When I was a little girl I thought he's ugly but as I grew older I now understood the charm of a Southern redneck boy.

Posted by Lee at 8:09 pm | Permalink | Comments

Im pregnant again for the third time 3 years in a row and the doctor says it might be my last pregnancy, which is a good thing. Its a good thing I'm 21 and extremely fit enough to have three caesareans in a row. I'm robust and healthy and I love my children. The thing is people keep complaining towards me why I keep doing this when I don't even ask them to change my kid's diapers, I don't ask them to pay for my children's clothes and they never have fed my kids...ever. They're making me feel as if this is an unwanted pregnancy, maybe for them but definitely not me, it's my child and I'm very sure I'll love it as the first and the second one. I would also worry over each one of them. This shouldn't be the case, I buy expensive things for my children while those who complain don't and couldn't afford to. Financially able and money wise with a husband like mine I shouldn't feel compelled to be subject to their comments and criticisms. But why does it bug me?
In a Modern Muslim society having birth control is a normal thing, unlike Catholic Christians who think of it as an abomination. Every mode of contraceptive is normal, however there is a golden rule to the muslim contraception game. It is unlawful or haram for a person or persons to allow contraception in the fear that they would not be able to afford their children. However for other reasons such as health, beauty contraception is allowed. The due fact is that most people intervene in their pregnancies and use contraception or abortion is because mothers fear that they cannot afford to care for their kids. In the West, such things are closest to transgression of nature, lampooned constantly. However, the idea is undigestible by today's standards there have been many examples of very rich and successful men and women who have been able to live their life despite having a very large family. There's the very true story of the 10 Johor sisters and brothers who all went to university. How, you ask, especially with the mounting taxes and costs to educate your children, its not like they went to an Ivy League school but actually a few of the siblings did go to Cambridge of London, sponsored by the government and his majesty the Sultan of Johor, if I'm not mistaken. In Brunei, the opportunities are even more apparent, I go to university and it isn't exactly Ivy League but I can bet you the lecturers are all very credible and very diverse. We have twinning programs with other universities and we're affiliated with the top universities of the UK. I get paid too, a small stipend actually of 350$, I know its not a lot, but it pays for a whole month of school lunches. Raise your hands if you think UBD canteen tastes like crap and overcharges! Its such a lazy walk to go across at the girl's hostel restaurant or the guy's hostels very nice Amsarra restaurant. Anyway, the Brunei UBD has a very low annual rate for anyone interested in having a Bruneian degree (don't worry we're approved worldwide, unlike M'sian degrees which have a bit difficulty when sorting out the diplomas' credibility). Having had an Australian education I feel as if in Brunei they give out high quality education. For one thing, they don't spoon feed you and yes, its just as hard as any other university, the only crack is to work hard, research hard. A girl my batch in highschool finished her degree in the UK using the fast track system, it goes Foundation 8months HND for a year then straight to 3rd year degree. I was on the system but I only finished the Foundations course. It was 30,000 per semester for the degree courses, jaws could drop my parents could never afford that, or if they could, I would be in Australia covered with rags. Ive known around 6 people who was in my WABDA (West Australia's Brunei Darussalam Association) who actually repeated over and over again then returned, not completing their degrees. What a waste 2 semesters was enough to buy half an acre of land, in suburbia, I hear its so expensive in the city now, it costs a million for a measly 0.25 acres. I have a house that I don't live in, cost my dad 600,000 when he bought it (plus a massive interest), aiyaa one day when my mom is goal i'll probably sell it.

Posted by Lee at 6:31 am | Permalink | Comments

I couldn't believe what I saw. It was so disgusting it made me want to vomit. This was an e-mail from a friend of mine about haute couture on runway and these were the photos taken behind the scenes. I couldn't believe no one was aghast at looking at these women so deprived of weight and meat on their bodies with only bones left. How could we let our society go to such extremes to be what is considered beautiful 'now'. Sure times do change but the worst part is that some girls who are quite young would be motivated into being something like this. Some actually do die. What's sad is that it is something avoidable. This gives new meaning to dead man walking. How can our women be duped into believing such things? Its good to have a positive view of oneself's image. But it isn't so good when we put down other people just to boost ourselves. Be humble be moderate.

Posted by Lee at 5:10 pm | Permalink | Comments

why does it kill me to see children suffering or receive any news of children that have died from any mishaps. Dear God, if you're listening, please spare these children from any pain how can we not love small creatures, with their small arms and legs and they are so weak. I am so strong, I hope we shall work together to help children all around the world survive. At least when they're adults you wouldn't have to worry about them anymore. Just the little ones.

Posted by Lee at 4:04 am | Permalink | Comments

Macam sanang

Why is it that a lot of Bruneians think its so easy to become an undergraduate or having a Masters or a PhD. They don't understand the dedication, the blood, sweat and tears that come along with doing theses and assignments and essays. Sudahtah research berjela jela, footnotenya lagi gilababi. Reference every single thing you're writing down, if it aint credible then it shouldn't be there. Generating new ideas and churning them like churning dust into gold. Sure, ada pulang yang mcm sanang atu sulnya tapi resultsnya nada honours lah, worst comes to worst it might be one of those tumbir2 degrees where u might...might not get a job. Its easier for those who already have a job at least they have the security. I stay up late at night until 3 or 4 in the morning sometimes worst Ive done it at 5am in the morning, rasa kan menyiapkan. Sure they give you the essay 3 weeks ago but with the research you pin against your work, it takes careful consideration, I notice sloppy work like mine would only deserve a B with a professor you're lucky he'll give you a D. Sanang saja orang cakap tinggi tinggi payau lah, nda jua seberapa lah, if its not seberapa then dont send your children to school lah. Just let them stay at home meh, I hear the fishing industry is a thriving business. Sure, there are many ways to generate income down here in South East Asia, Indians come down here all the time and make a lot of money. They come selling small things, oranges from boxes sometimes selling homemade roasted corn on the side. I've seen them peddling on the streets, they're seriously unashamed over their efforts in trying to find money, ask a Malay Bruneian to do that he'd probably scoff and say its not up to his level then ask a Malay woman to do that and she would say that it's degrading. But then again it isn't the Malay who in the end make better ends, its the Indian with his pocketful of money after strangling and saving every cent by sweating over it. Chinese people are just the same in their efforts of saving money. Banar, its not like ktani kan bawa mati, but then again what happens if that money could save us one day? What about a rainy day? God is a finicky being who can change your fate in a blink of an eye. Right now Sultan anugeraha free medical expenses, free education, Alhamdullillah these are offered to us, like a father assuring his children he's saying that the government could still continue these subsidies and free support for our Bruneians, tapi sampai bila? Sooner or later siapa yang inda pandai berterima kasih kana tarik jua rezekinya dari Allah. Siapa yang inda pandai bersedekah kan menulung orang miskin kana tarik jua rezekinya dari Allah. That's why we shouldn't overspend in trying to live like our superstars. We're not rich like them, they're rich beyond our wildest dreams. Put down that lexus, go ahead sell it, if you're only making 3k a month you can't afford it. Go buy yourself a piece of land and leave the land scheme alone for those who really really deserve it. Don't buy a BMW, in orang puteh countries you can only afford that after years of hard work not when you only make 3000 dollars a month while living with your parents. Save that money and don't throw a lavish wedding, children cost a lot of money. You want smart children, then buy them books not games. Research indicates that children who have computers in their rooms have a higher intelligence than children who have television in their rooms (well sociability is also a good thing so give them both if you can). Tell your kids, want a mobile phone, get a job! Don't pay for their mobile credit. Its ridiculous that you're paying for 'their' social life. Use the bus! Grow up! Do your chores! Clean your room! No wonder parents nowadays have children who are on their asses. If you're a girl, too lazy to go to work, too lazy to go to school get yourself a rich husband! If you're a guy, you should just be kicked out of the house for being allowed to watch television 24/7. Go to work!

Posted by Lee at 2:25 am | Permalink | Comments

What makes us so concerned and selfish about our status in our daily lives that we forget we are nothing but, teeming ants under the microscope of galaxies and stars. That the earth is magnificiently round and we are strapped on earth with gravity a magical force that exudes by being pushed hand in hand with inertia to keep us revolving around the sun. And yet how high and mighty man thinks he is he keeps forgetting that he is weak and will die. Selfish are we when we forget orphans of hunger, of children who have no means of defense, and yet we stand by and blame and blame, on the abundant soil of earth. Where food is thrown and uneaten when others do not eat. We have transgressed on ourselves when we say 'he' and 'she' is none of our business when we all have to live on the same soil. It is a sin when we allow others to die and suffer while our hands, we feel are too short and have no power in changing the world.

Posted by Lee at 7:12 pm | Permalink | Comments

The female hungry


The female hungry isn't like any other being or species. It is a hunger driven by mass production and desire, endless desire to purchase, own, to have, to be. Just as young girls become intimidated by the taunts of older women of how 'less' a girl can be. It isn't a 'media' thing its a 'social' thing, to view oneself in the respective orders of status and privilege. Every society known to man has a form of these status marks but certiain tribes have been known to be the first communist societies to ever exist as they try to live harmoniously and cooperatively. What is considered individual enjoyment is a sentiment unknown for many rural by choice tribes and is considered as greed. Whatever a person owns is subject to the enjoyment of the community. Expression of emotions especially 'love' is embossed with expensive gifts as well as candy industry that churns 1 billion dollar's worth for Valentine's. Commodities which are actually more of a liability than an investment has become one of the larger facets of business focus. Handbags, shoes, keychains, key rings down to the simple cotton t-shirt and track suit has upped their prices with quality sought for but actually is easily attainable. What is the female hungry?
Clothes at its beginning point was a means of keeping oneself warm, the notion of having to wear something very decorative is an upper class and royalty belief. In Jane Austen's 'Sense and Sensibility' both Marianne and Elinor had to wear the same clothes daily. Clothes (and a bath) is something one changes and has once a week once a month, or even worse for some royals, twice a lifetime. We have become monsters in a span of a hundred years, our consumer greed is unknown for centuries (except for the royalty ofcourse), almost everyone is born with clothes on their backs, at least a roof on their heads and definitely more food on the table than any other peasantry known to feudal man. And even if these things are not available now, they are attainable later in life, any human being is a chameleon that changes its colours and skin at whim provided you are as well trained as John Doe.

Posted by Lee at 10:21 pm | Permalink | Comments

The age of aesthetics

Nowadays its almost akin to nature that we have to worship whatever that looks good and aesthetically pleasing. It becomes so natural that we find it offensive to find a single blemish, and much more worst is that our ideal body need to be punished constantly to seek beauty. The search for aesthetics have been haunting us for centuries, since the first man painted his body red to decorate himself. Plastic surgeries stretch as far as the time of pharaohs where faces are altered. In a native tribe of Indonesia having teeth sharpened to resemble fangs of animals were considered a mark of beauty. Ancient Arabs revere women with large spaces between their teeth. Several books teach the either whether to reach for and worship what looks good. But looking good is also perspective, what was beautiful yesterday is very much vintage today. Even worst, just simply outdated. It becomes an art far spaced from intelligence. Could this be what every woman wishes to run after? The first arts of beauty were purposeful, to snatch oneself a husband but that should have changed after the advent of Muhammad SAW when women were allowed to own property. Many feminists would say that even if Muslim women were able to own property they were still subject to rules of Faraidh where the male family member will receive a better portion of property. But it is also a requirement for the male family member to support their female relatives, its a win-win situation for women where she is not required by any law to support any one else even her children. When a woman gives some of her property it should be viewed as a gift without any strains or conditions. Equal laws made by Westernization allow women to pay for their husband's alimony when it is the other way around for Muslim women. In any divorce transaction the woman will receive her due either in form of property or monthly installments of payment. This includes child support, transportation as well as housing.

Then what is the problem, why are our women still busy hankering after beauty when all the advantages point to them. Don't like your last husband, just get a new one. Why is it necessary for women to point out to other people her 'beauty' advantages when beauty itself is not an important factor. Is it an evolutionary survival skill? Children then are born into this world with large eyes unproportionate to their bodies. Their heads are significantly larger than their other parts. Theorists of communication would explain that the reason why this is is because children have larger eyes which they grow will become smaller. This is evident even in animals, insects and fishes. Larger eyes allow better communication, the eyes then becomes a tool for the child to survive despite being very helpless. They allow innocence to be projected so that their lives be spared. There are many examples of feral children existing and being raised by animals. For this reason many women use eye make up to enhance their eyes, to allow for better communication between the sexes (or in some cases, the same sex). Many women resort to beauty as a means to acquire wealth and maintain survival. In the surface of things this meant maintaining the attentions of the man as a means to continue their survival. What then is the purpose of the transvestite where beauty to them is a mode of worship and lenghty acquisition. What is necessary ofcourse if to realize the intelligence that is supportive of such endeavours. We are so ingrained in culture that we forget that culture is man-made and definitely reversible, like the previous articles that I have written, beauty is transgender. Even man can fall prey into such conceptions.

The worship of beauty becomes a handicap instead. In a world where there are a handful of those who become highly intelligent and contributing towards very worthy causes, there are millions more dwelling in their average-ness, caring only for their personal self. This self-obsession is definitely fueled by the mass media crankering every second every imaginable concept or need to be 'fairer' 'tanned' 'beautiful'. Be 'beautiful' your life will be better. Sure, it would be better for yourself, but what a waste of labour power.

Posted by Lee at 6:30 pm | Permalink | Comments